Self care, two very simple words, and yet they hold so much power. We as people in general probably don’t practice it enough. Without it it can lead to depression, poor health, burn-out among a multitude of other issues. Without it we become merely a shell of ourselves.
So what does self-care look like for me? I keep it fairly simple but once in a while also do something extravagant. The simple things for me are putting my daughter in daycare during my Thursday off so I can get a haircut or clean/organize my house in peace. It usually involves splurging on a latte. Eating and drinking in the peace and quiet. Slowly. Alone. I try to do this at least once a month to reset.
The once in a while stuff
Once every 2 years I like to go on a trip with a friend. Mostly because my husband and I can’t go anywhere overnight together without anyone to watch our children. Therefore I either visit a friend out of state or we go somewhere together. In a couple of a weeks I am headed to Austin, TX with one of my best friends. It’s usually just a long weekend but it does a body good. It’s not that I want to be away from my family, but I am a person who needs a change of scenery every so often, away from my responsibilities otherwise I lose my sanity.
On the daily
On a daily basis self care involves exercise, eating well, and having hobbies. This is because I can’t nap, because if I could nap, that would be all of the self care I needed. I will not, however, pretend that I do these things consistently because I’m usually too exhausted by the time the kids go to bed to do much else other than scroll Twitter eating spicy pretzels and falling asleep on the couch. Whatever it is, I think it’s important to set aside one hour each day, at the beginning or end, to decompress and unwind.
So why is this important?
I find that I am more even tempered, feel rested (even though I don’t sleep). I am just an overall better parent and partner when I have had time to decompress. If I have time to reflect on my life then what is most important usually comes to the surface. I find more joy in being around my children instead of headaches. I am less likely to lose control of my emotions in stressful situations. I’m just a better me.
stefan
do really try to find time with your husband. my wife and me have AT LEAST 2 times a year where we go sailing for about 4 days or just hang out at a spa/hotel for 3 days. not far away from home. leave your kids! they will have a new experience, too. and it helps your relationship big time. do not forget about yourself. remember the time without kids, a room where you do not need to clean up and experience that again. try to do it every year. get everyone used to it. you will find a way to make this possible!
Chandi
I would love to but we have no one to care for our children for a few days, we are not that fortunate to have family nearby for support, but in a dream world I would. But we find lots of time to be together, no worries.